Day 1

I don't have a death wish. Nothing inside of me is begging for the end. I am simply a fat girl. A fluffy, voluptuous, curvy, bumpy, tubby, cushiony type. I'm fun, outgoing, pretty smart I just happen to prefer cheese SMOTHERED on my broccoli and my chicken fried. So when the doctor's office called today and said "Listen here fatty, if you don't lose some weight, you're going to meet the Grim Reaper a little earlier than we had previously discussed," I got a little worried.

I woke my husband up in a fit of tears, "I don't want to change!" I made him get out of the comfort of our bed and rush me to the grocery store. I filled up on tillapia, turkey, salmon, green veggies and lots of natural supplements that have thus far caused my stomach to do little turns. I contacted a good friend and begged her to keep me accountable. She's gotta a lot on her plate herself, but who can resist watching fatty sweat? So she agreed. (I'm pretty sure that she wouldn't quite see the reasoning that way, but eh- it's reason enough for me.)

And for my first adventure of the day, I tried liquid egg whites. Let's not repeat what I thought those looked like in the pan. I had a little cut up turkey bacon and a tortilla. Can we say "Cardboard tacos?" No really, it wasn't THAT bad. (It wasn't that good either.)

For my second adventure, I cleared out all of my furniture, got a towel and placed it gingerly on the floor and I tried YOGA. I thought "Eh, low impact. It wont hurt my back and I can do this with Air Conditioning. No problem!" Although somewhere inside of me, I thought I was taking the wimpy way out, I got started. 10 minutes later, sweaty and begging for the woman to stop talking about the waves within my body, my butt sat down and got back to facebooking.

I then proceeded to google EVERY POSSIBLE weight loss group out there. Jenny Craig worked for whats-her-face, right? And I decided that the best way for me to go about this is to blog. To air my dirty laundry and make sure that all of my friends see it. So when I choose to pull in to Taco Bell, they'll remind me "Bitch, you can't have that!" with all the love in their hearts.


So here we go.

Day 1:
Weight: 273
Outlook: Bleak at best
Dinner: Turkey Meatloaf with steamed broccoli.